Helen Bach Column: I should be so lucky...

Take rain on your wedding day - or in my case snow - 'that's good luck!' said everybody. Yeah, battling your way through inclement weather to get to the Church, then clambering out of your Dad's Sierra estate in your high heels and negotiating snow and sludge in your finery really felt lucky!

On the plus side, I didn't fall apex over elbow and we're still married over 25 years later, so maybe there was something in that.

But similarly on the scale of 'that's meant to be good luck!' when it actually feels the total opposite, I can report that I've yet again been pooped on by a bird.

That's the fourth or fifth time now, on this occasion on my way into work. Even worse, I didn't realise initially, so I'd already said good morning to numerous people and clocked in before discovering that I was sporting a massive bird poop on my right shoulder, and down my handbag!

Fortunately, it wasn't in my hair, but I had to spot clean my suit with handsoap and paper towels, and wash my bag with a similar mix of cleaning products until I could get home and machine wash my clothes and Dettol spray everything else.

'That's good luck! Buy a lottery ticket!' was the general refrain from many well-meaning colleagues as I scrubbed at the affected articles while cursing under my breath.

Oh, but just when you thought that maybe that day couldn't get much worse it did - later on I was called into an unscheduled meeting and out of the blue was told that due to a restructure I would have to reapply for my own job, or could perhaps apply for another, or could be made redundant.

Sorry, I think there's an obvious punchline to accompany this story, but I'll let you create your own; I was thinking something along the lines of 'mushroom management'...