After another Kettering domestic murder enough is enough - and we all have a part to play

What happened in their Petherton Court flat in the weeks, days and hours before Anju Asok and her children Jeeva and Janvi Saju were killed may never be known.

The only person who knows for certain is monster Saju Chelavalel, who is likely to die in prison after admitting the triple murder last week.

It was the third domestic homicide in Kettering in just under 18 months after the tragic deaths of Maddie Durdant-Hollamby and Marta Chmielecka – and enough is enough.

Now campaigners are raising awareness of the potential signs of domestic abuse – and the support available – to help those who are suffering in silence.

Dr Rachel Duncan, chief executive officer at Northamptonshire Domestic Abuse Service (NDAS), said: “We are encouraged to see that a life sentence will be handed down to Chelavalel but obviously horrified and heartbroken at the abhorrent murders of Anju Asok and her two beautiful children, Jeeva (six) and Janvi (four). No sentence can make up for their loss and our thoughts continue to be with their family. In our work, we see the devastating impact of domestic abuse every day but the murders of Anju, Jeeva and Janvi – and of Maddie and Marta – show how dangerous domestic abuse can be and the damage that perpetrators can cause.

“It also shows the importance of raising awareness of domestic abuse and the need to raise awareness of the range of abuses that victims can suffer. Domestic abuse is not just physical violence or sexual abuse. Frequently we see survivors experiencing emotional abuse which often comes in the form of coercive and controlling behaviour from the perpetrator and this can be as harmful as the more obvious forms or signs of abuse, as seen in these tragic cases.

“You could feel that you are walking on eggshells with your partner all the time or perhaps they track your movements, and you have to explain where you are going and where you have been. They may be overly jealous, relentlessly call or text you, control your money or frequently put you down, call you names or make you feel that you are worthless. Any and all of these things could be red flags that the relationship is unhealthy.

“Our message to anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse, thinks they may be experiencing abuse or knows/suspects that someone else is: please do get in contact with us. Calling us or emailing us for advice does not mean that you have to make any immediate decisions about next steps, but knowing more and being aware of your options is so important to help you make choices that are right for you, at the right time for you.

“We are here to help. You can call us on 03000 120 154 or email [email protected] for support or check our website (www.ndas.co) for further information on domestic abuse and services available to support you and your family.”

Nurse Anju, 35, was originally from Vaikom in the state of Kerala, India, and her family was one of more than 300 Malayalee families helped by the Kettering Malayalee Welfare Association (KMWA).

Sobin John, from KMWA, said they are now trying to make their members aware of the support that’s available to those experiencing domestic abuse.

He knew Anju and said she seemed quite reserved. He said she never spoke to friends about relationship issues and that he thinks she was scared. Mr John has since spoken to Anju's father in India, who said that Anju had called him a few days before she died.

He said: "She said she would tell him all about what had happened with Saju when she was next home. She never survived to tell the story."

Indian news sites reported that 52-year-old Chelavalel had ‘anger issues’ and would be violent over small issues. Those who worked with Anju at Kettering General Hospital (KGH) say they don’t believe she spoke about it.

A KGH spokesman said they have comprehensive plans in place to support staff when it comes to domestic abuse. He said they have arrangements to provide emergency accommodation, financial support, onward referral to specialist services and support with reporting to the police.

The spokesman said: “We have a hospital-based independent domestic violence adviser who supports both staff and patients, based within the safeguarding team.

“We have policies and procedures supported by training in place for our managers to support staff with issues, we have held internal awareness campaigns on the issue, and provide information to our staff about it. We have a bespoke training package for overseas staff joining the organisation which addresses this issue as part of comprehensive support we give to all staff joining us from overseas.

“We also have more informal routes where people can also seek advice and support through our open office service and We Care Café which are open to all staff.”

This is not a problem that is specific to Kettering. It is happening up and down the country.

Charity Refuge say that on average, two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales. One in four women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime.

One of those is Kettering woman Cali Dunkley, who bravely spoke out about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her partner when he was taken to court last year.

She urged anyone who is in an abusive relationship to seek help.

She said: "For anyone in a newer relationship, get out at the first signs or at the very least tell someone or keep a note.

"If it turns out to be nothing you can always delete it but if the domestic violence progresses it may help get a conviction that will keep you and others safe.

"The police will believe you and they will help you get out. If you find yourself feeling really unsafe while out utilise the Ask for Angela campaign."

Cllr Scott Brown (Con), who represents the Earls Barton ward on North Northamptonshire Council, knows all about the tragic consequences domestic abuse can have.

His mother-in-law, Marion Price, was shot dead by her ex-husband Michael Reader in 2019.

Cllr Brown said that every time he reads about another instance of domestic violence it takes him back to his experience – and he has urged people to watch out for potential red flags affecting someone they love.

He said: "The one thing I took from that period was that more needs to be done to raise awareness among those people who are surrounding the victim, like friends and families who may notice a change in their behaviour. They may become withdrawn or quiet, more emotionally upset or they may alter how they dress or look.

"These in isolation may be passed off or excused, but they’re all too often pieces of a jigsaw. Other people surrounding the victim may well have different pieces and it isn’t until you put them together that you begin to see the picture, to realise that something is amiss.

"I would like to see more awareness to the general public about what some of these potential red flags are and would encourage people to report anything that seems suspect, to speak with others and try to ascertain if something is potentially occurring.

"Being a councillor has given me the opportunity to witness the fantastic support that can be given. There is help out there. People are willing and able to support you or a loved one who finds themselves in this situation. If you are currently in an abusive relationship, whether mentally or physically, please rest assured that there are people out there who can help you get out of this situation."

Cllr Emily Fedorowycz (Green, Clover Hill), urged everyone in our communities to ‘step up’ to create safety.

She said: “Even though legal justice has been served, there is no justice in the tragic loss of Anju and her two children, Jeeva and Javi. There is such a sadness in the community and my heart is with those missing them most.

"The fact that the biggest threat to women in the UK is current and ex-partners is really scary – and yet still people are not aware of this, or the support available to them if they find themselves scared for their safety.

"No-one should feel unsafe in their own home. This calls for better awareness of these support services and ensuring people know how to get out if they need to, but more than that, much more, it calls for everyone in our community to step up.

"If you hear something misogynistic, challenge it. Witness something? Report it. Be an ally. Connect with your neighbours. Create safety in your community. Everyone deserves to be safe and we have to demand nothing less.”

And Kettering mayor Cllr Keli Watts (Lab) added: "Everyone has the right to feel safe in their own home. It's a tragedy to think that someone can enter someone's life and simply attack them.

"I would urge all people who feel unsafe to access the considerable support available to them."

Northamptonshire Police urged people not to suffer in silence and said help is out there for domestic abuse victims.

A spokeswoman for the force said: “Domestic homicide is a devastating crime that has long-lasting effects, and every death is a tragic and terrible loss.

“Here at Northamptonshire Police, tackling violence against women and girls is a priority for us and we want to do everything we can to prevent these crimes from happening. All genders can be victims and perpetrators of domestic abuse – however women are disproportionately more likely to be victims, and perpetrators are disproportionately more likely to be men.

“We want to encourage victims of domestic abuse, and their loved ones, to come forward so we can protect people against this abhorrent crime. This type of abuse is often hidden behind closed doors. There will be people suffering physical or psychological abuse and not disclosing it to anyone. We urge you not to suffer in silence – please come forward. We will believe you. Being a victim of domestic abuse is never your fault. The only person to blame for domestic abuse is the abuser.

“Please come forward by calling 999 or 101 or report online at www.northants.police.uk/ro. We recognise that some people may not yet be ready to talk to the police. Advice and help for victims is available from a number of statutory and voluntary agencies who can ensure anyone who suffers domestic abuse gets the support they need, without the need to report to the police.

“If you have been a victim of a domestic abuse but are not yet ready to speak to the police, please visit www.voicenorthants.org or call Voice on 0300 303 1965. Voice is a support service for anyone living in Northamptonshire, regardless of when, where or how crime happened to you. Services are free, confidential and you don’t have to have reported anything to the police. You can also request information about someone’s domestic violence history under Clare’s Law by completing a Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) application at https://www.northants.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha2/request-information-under-clares-law/.

“No-one should have the fear of abuse or violence hanging over them. We will do all that we can to help you get the advice and support you need.”