Tribute to Crazy Hats charity co-founder Marilyn Clapham by friend and colleague Glennis Hooper

Breast cancer charity Crazy Hats founder Glennis Hooper writes: “Several years ago, I was fortunate to write a fortnightly column for the paper – ‘Glennis Hooper: She’s One Crazy Lady’. I really enjoyed writing them. Recently I was looking back at the 300 or so columns I wrote and most of them brought a smile to my face, with memories of happy times spent and adventures had with my best friend, Marilyn. When we were at work, out and about with our charity work, or on holidays something, usually comical and slightly crazy, happened that we were willing to share with readers. Happy days indeed.

“Sadly, this time, I write to share with you the heart-breaking news that, having battled with cancer for over three years, Marilyn very sadly passed away on November 21. Her loss is immense.

“This is a very special tribute to her, not only from myself, but from all the hundreds of people who knew and loved her and were touched by her life, and of course, her loving family.

“I first met Marilyn at Victoria Junior School, Wellingborough where I was deputy head. Marilyn volunteered at the school, but her talents were recognised, and she soon became a valued member of staff as a classroom assistant. It was a role where she excelled as she had a really strong interest in supporting children with special needs.

“Marilyn was up for anything, and her wicked sense of humour was infectious. We celebrated when she passed exams to become a learning support assistant – she would have made an excellent teacher. Not stopping there, and with high-quality secretarial skills she became clerk to the governors and also the school’s lollypop lady. She was indisputably an asset to the school and the community.

“We became firm friends following an inspection weekend to France. We gelled within minutes of setting off. To me, as well as a colleague, Marilyn was my best friend, for almost 30 years. 30 years of hard work fun, laughter, tears and so many memories.

“When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, I had just secured the headship of Highfields Primary School in Kettering. Who was at my side? Marilyn.

"I had wonderful support from family and friends but Marilyn was my rock. Marilyn was with me in Debenhams one day when, I thought I would buy a hat because I didn’t like the wig I was given. I didn’t actually buy a hat, even though we tried dozens on and embarrassed ourselves by laughing too much, but the seed of setting up Crazy Hats, to raise funds, in a unique and crazy way, to help other patients with breast cancer, was sown that day.

“From a £5 donation at the start to over £3.4 million at its closure in 2021. Marilyn ‘my right arm’ was just brilliant in helping to run the charity. When coming into the office Marilyn was the first face people saw - sensing their nervousness and anxiety soon put them at their ease with her lovely warm smile, a cup of tea and gentle, relaxed chat to reassure and welcome them.

“Like school, Marilyn put her heart and soul into the charity and truly loved every event we organised and every event we attended; the highlight being when we were invited to Buckingham Palace to attend one of the Queen’s garden parties – how we loved shopping for that special outfit!

“How bizarre it was that Marilyn was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013. As tough as it was for her, she always said it was having Crazy Hats and fellow breast cancer patients around her that helped her so much. It was payback time for me too. How sad it was that just six years later Marilyn should be diagnosed again with a different, aggressive and rare form of cancer.

"The Covid pandemic proved to be a nightmare in getting the urgent treatment Marilyn needed and three years of gruelling operations and treatments followed, involving a lot of travelling. Her journey was long and hard, and she has to be admired for coping with everything the way she did. It was far from easy – for her, for her family, her friends and for us.

“After 20 years, we never thought we would be in the position of having to care and support one of our own in this way. Sadly, last week, her body tired, she closed her eyes and was free of the ravaging pain. She is already missed so much. I am sure I speak on behalf of all of you when I say, ‘Thank you Marilyn, thank you for everything’. Her legacy will continue, always.

“Since Marilyn’s death tributes and accolades have been pouring in. Marilyn was devoted to her three daughters, her five grandchildren and wider family. People may remember her from Slimming World days when she was a very successful consultant. She made time for everyone. She was loyal. She was so much fun to be with and possessed a wicked sense of humour. She loved her cats and dogs. She loved her garden. She loved collecting jugs! But, above all, she loved people. To me, she was my constant. She gave me a fridge magnet one day which read: “Chance made us colleagues, but our craziness made us friends.” Spot on!

“To everyone who knew her, take time to sit back and reflect on your memories. I am guessing that every memory will be ‘memorable’ whether it be happy or sad, and I know you will be feeling blessed that Marilyn was part of your life. I know I am. God Bless Marilyn. Sleep tight.”

Marilyn’s funeral will take place on Thursday, December 15 at the Edgar Newman Chapel at Kettering Crematorium at midday. Family flowers only but donations can be made to Nanna animal rescue, via Chambers and Brighty Funeral Directors, Wellingborough.