Unexpected highlights ... the Diary of a Corona Kid (Week 3)

I am finding that the highlight of my week has become the weekly trip to the supermarket.

Seriously, I even dress up and do my eyebrows before I go, not that anyone is in close enough proximity to tell.

First of all, you grab your freshly-sanitised trolley. Then you queue in a Legoland-esque line, separated by tape, but instead of a rollercoaster at the end, you are lucky if you can feel the thrill of a half-full loo roll aisle.

The staff check you in as you enter, like in a spy film without the violence (or the spies), and then you and yours are free to search for soap.

I decided to buy Bridget Jones on DVD as her ‘all by myself’ vibe is very relatable at the moment.

It was perhaps unnecessary, judging by the fact that they are on telly for free, but this is an unprecedented time after all.

Anyway, we successfully bought the week’s supplies, complete with loo roll AND eggs. I accept that I’m oversharing, but so proud!

Unfortunately, I decided that I would push the trolley as I am a strong, independent young woman who cannot only get through a pandemic, but also push a heavy trolley.

I say ‘unfortunately’ as I managed to set off the security alarm in the process.

A hi-vis person had to come and help us, which is worse than it sounds as he had formed a barrier of crisp boxes to separate shoppers and had to hurdle said barrier.

He asked us to pull over so that other shoppers could safely exit two metres away from me and the trolley of shame.

I realised that only one purchase was bound to have caused embarrassment: the DVD.

The hi-vis person checked the receipt and then let us go before climbing back over his wall of crisps.

Someone else had to push the trolley to the car as I shuffled behind with the complexion of a tomato.

Who said that lockdown was boring?