‘I’m not a total monster. I know what I did,’ writes murder-accused former Northampton teacher

“I’m not a total monster. I know what I did,” wrote a former Northampton teacher accused of her boyfriend’s murder over three months after police believe he was killed.

Fiona Beal, aged 49, of Moore Street appeared at Northampton Crown Court on Thursday, March 30 for the twelfth day of her trial after being accused of murdering 42-year-old Nicholas Billingham and burying his body in their garden last year. She denies murder due to her state of mind at the time.

DS Colin Bowers was the police officer who charged Beal with the murder of Nicholas Billingham just after midnight on March 20, 2022.

DS Bowers told the court that, when Beal was charged, she appeared “confused.”

“It was like she was looking at me but straight through me,” he said..

The court heard that Beal then asked him, “Is that it?”

DS Bowers replied that it was only one charge.

It was clarified to the court that Beal’s response was out of confusion and not an attempt to minimise the murder charge.

DC Simon Chamberlain then provided jurors with data extracted from Mr Billingham’s phone showing the device’s activity in 2021.

He told the court that Apple health data records the number of steps people take and the distance they move. Data from Mr Billingham’s phone showed a sharp decrease in movement from November 1, 2021 - the day police believed he was killed.

Another set of data showing the quantity of outgoing messages and calls from Mr Billingham’s phone showed a sharp decline in November 2021 and then went down to zero by December 2021.

Jurors were then presented with Apple notes downloaded from Beal’s iPhone.

On October 9, 2021, Beal wrote in a recently deleted Apple note:

“I have been gradually getting more depressed and suicidal ever since you came back from ****** ******. There have been some lovely moments but for the last 6 months + I have been in a very dark place. You’re mean. You moan constantly and criticise everything. It’s exhausting.”

She goes on to describe having a “nice, relaxing end to a hard week.”

“And then you came home.”

She wrote that Mr Billingham came in and demanded to know if the kitchen was spotless before they sat in silence on their phones, making small talk.

“There are sauce pots on the table from dinner. You pull the blanket and knock one of the pots over. In your temper, you pull the blanket more and knock another pot over the blanket, table and floor. I am still and wondering if it’s over. You sarcastically spit the words, ‘Please tell me you’re not just sitting there.’

“It riles me. It can’t just be dealt with as ‘oops let’s clear this up.’ You go to the shop while I clean the mess up. No. There should be consequences.”

On February 11, 2022, Beal wrote in her Apple notes:

“I am beginning this book to you on Saturday 12th February 2022. It’s been 3 months and 12 days. I’m not a total monster. I know what I did.”

There will now be a two week break in the trial for the Easter holidays. It will resume on Monday, April 17.