Domestic abuse: Victim urges others to 'speak up and speak out' after horror tale of fearing for her life, being stalked, losing her children and living as a recluse

A domestic abuse victim has urged others in Northamptonshire to “speak up and speak out” after bravely sharing her story on camera.

The woman was in a controlling and coercive relationship for nine months and wound up having her children removed and shutting herself away before getting help from Northamptonshire Police and support agencies.

She attempted to end the relationship but abuse escalated, she was stalked and feared for her life.

The woman said: "I genuinely thought I loved this guy, but looking back it wasn't love at all I was just in a very bad place and he made me vulnerable.

“I didn't notice the signs but my family did and they just got more and more intense. Because of the abuse I was having I just couldn't go into work and it really affected my life, I didn't want to see family and friends I just became a recluse.

“I'd tell anyone going through the same thing now to speak out and work with any professionals that you can.

“I never want anyone to get into the position I did, having their children removed.

“You don’t deserve to be taking the abuse you are — and you are not the problem they are."

The victim, whose identity is protected, agreed to go on camera as part of a Northamptonshire Police week of action on violence against women and girls.

She added: “A brilliant police officer sat down with me and spoke in a way that I could open up about the abuse and everything that had happened.

“That made me realise how he had been abusing me right from the start.

“I didn’t believe the professionals at first. I still had my ex-partner in my life at that time and he was feeding me one thing while the professionals were telling me another.

“But when I started looking back, I could point to every aspect of what he was. And that was when I felt I definitely need help.

“I got help from the Sunflower Centre and I’ve now got my children back.

“Working with professionals and accepting everything they give to you really does pay off.”

Sunflower Centre is a partnership-funded service that works closely with Voice to provide free, specialist support to victims of domestic abuse.

It works under the umbrella of Voice for Victims and Witnesses which offers support to anyone in the county regardless of when, where or how crime affected them.

■ If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse tell the police online, on 101 or call 999 in an emergency. If you are not ready to talk to the police there are other organisations that can help:

Northampton Domestic Abuse Service and Refuge are both charities running support schemes and helplines for victims.

Eve has run a family refuge in Northamptonshire for over 35 years and helps victims rebuild their lives using its Restored Programme.

Detective Chief Inspector Michelle Douglas, revealed Northamptonshire Police recorded more than 14,000 domestic abuse incidents in the last 12 months — nearly three-quarters of them were against woman.

She said: “Domestic abuse should not be tolerated, overlooked, denied or excused. It is a crime and we all need to speak out against it.

“We actively encourage everyone affected by domestic abuse to report it to us so that we can protect you and help you.

“There is only one person to blame for abuse and that is the abuser.

“I want people to know that help is available. Whether you’re the abused or a concerned friend or family member, come forward – if we don’t know about it, we can’t help.”