Kettering cancer survivor shares sex and fertility struggle as part of new Macmillan awareness campaign

Thousands of people with cancer in the East Midlands are ‘suffering in silence’ with concerns around sex and intimacy, facing ‘rock bottom’ self-confidence and serious worries about their sex lives or romantic relationship, a charity has warned.

New figures released today by Macmillan Cancer Support found that almost one in three people with cancer in the East Midlands– equivalent to around 59,000 people – have serious concerns about sex, loss of libido or fertility as a result of their diagnosis or treatment.

Among all people with cancer in the East Midlands, one in five are struggling with the physical effects of treatment on their ability to be intimate (22 per cent), one in seven (14 per cent) feel less confident about themselves, and one in seven (14 per cent) are concerned about their appearance or desirability.

For some, it's concerns around feeling pressure to have sex or be intimate when they don’t want to that is causing stress.

However, across the UK, only two in five (39 per cent) of those who want help with serious concerns around sex or fertility have had any support, potentially leaving thousands of people with cancer in the East Midlands trying to manage these issues themselves.

The charity warns of the potential impact this is having on people’s well-being, as further data shows that one in nine people with cancer in the East Midlands are worried about the negative impact of sex or fertility issues on their relationship with their partner, including feeling distanced, growing apart or feeling unsupported.

To break this cultural taboo and encourage more people to have open conversations around sex and cancer, the charity has launched a new partnership with the UK’s leading sexual wellness brand, Lovehoney.

The partnership – a first of its kind for both organisations – will shine a light on the impact cancer can have on people’s sexual well-being, and raise awareness of the support available, by sharing unique stories from people affected by cancer across the UK as part of a new YouTube series.

As part of the partnership, Macmillan has also launched a new sex and cancer hub on its website in the hope of encouraging more people living with cancer to talk about sex and seek the support they need.

Tracey Palmer, from Macmillan Cancer Support, said: “Cancer can impact a person’s life in many ways; their relationships, their bodies, how they are feeling and more.

"It can touch every part of what makes someone who they are.

"And we know that for many, sex and intimacy following a diagnosis is a huge concern and thousands of people with cancer are suffering in silence, causing a huge amount of stress and anxiety.

“We need to start talking more about sex and the very real impact cancer can have on people’s sexual well-being and relationships.

"We know that many people find it hard to raise these issues with their partner or people close to them and that’s where we can come in.

"No question or conversation is too big, too small or too personal on our confidential support line or our online community.

"Nobody should face the impact of a cancer diagnosis alone; we are here every step of the way.”

Ellie Waters, 22, from Kettering, was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma (a soft tissue sarcoma) in 2015 aged 14.

The radiotherapy treatment she had in her teens left her unable to have penetrative sex or have children.

Because she was technically a child, nobody told her how it would impact her sexual function as an adult.  

Ellie said: “For a long time I didn’t feel like a woman at all.

"My cancer treatment robbed me of many of the things that make women integrally unique.

"It made me feel like I was stuck in a child’s body and that nobody would ever take me seriously, which really affected my body image and self confidence.

“So I’ve had to redefine what being a woman means to me.

"Before, I had a very narrow-minded view that being a woman was very much biological and dictated by having boobs, periods and being able to get pregnant.

"But, actually, being a woman means a lot more than that. And feeling womanly should not be dictated by biological standards, but by how you feel inside.

“It’s important that women know they don’t have to fit into the mould that society tells us to.

"Your ability to conceive and how ‘sexy’ your body looks should not define your worth.”

Ellie can’t have penetrative sex because it causes the vulva to get really swollen and painful. It also increases the risk of cellulitis.

She’s currently in the third year of medical school training to be a doctor and is really interested in potentially specialising in obstetrics and/or gynaecology.

Sarah Mulindwa, Lovehoney's sex and sexual health expert, added: "It can take a lot for people to be entirely open about their sexual well-being and for those who are going through challenging times, which is the case for many people living with cancer, it can become even harder.

"Sexual well-being is an important part of a person’s overall health and that’s why we’ve teamed up with Macmillan to shatter the taboos around this topic and empower more people living with cancer to open up about sex and intimacy and get the support they need."

To find out more about sex and cancer, and to access support visit the Macmillan website https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancerandsex