Mark is telling his tragic story in the hope it will help others

Former Northants Telegraph sports journalist Mark Lea lost his wife Julie to cancer last year and has now written a book in her memory

‘Letting Go And Living On’ has been written by Mark Lea in memory of Kettering-born Julie who passed away on June 20 last year after a two-and-a-half-month battle against a rare form of cancer.

Julie died in a hospice at the age of 39 on Mark’s 45th birthday. Less than a week earlier, they had spent their 16th wedding anniversary in hospital.

Mark joined the Northamptonshire Evening Telegraph as a news reporter in the Wellingborough office in November 1996.

He moved to the sports desk in Kettering in January 1998 and met Julie when she came to the ET on work experience from Northampton College in the summer of 1999.

They got married in 2003 and lived in Wellingborough until Julie’s career took her to Lincolnshire. She started work with the Herald and Post newspaper series in Northamptonshire.

Mark spent 12 seasons covering the ups and downs of Rushden & Diamonds then decided to leave the ET as deputy sports editor in June 2012 when the newspaper became a weekly title.

He said: “As well as reflecting on her time in hospital and those final 36 hours in a hospice, I want to offer support to anyone who needs it because I understand the importance of talking and listening with people who have been through grief.

“It’s very important for me to share the experiences through bereavement support, counselling, mental health and friendship. If my book helps one person in a similar situation, I will be happy.

“When Julie died, I knew immediately that I needed professional support but I didn’t know what that really meant. I am telling our story because I want to help others.

“If you have lost a loved one, please remember that you are not alone because there is always someone who will understand what you are going through in the grief process.

“There are no rules. There is not a right or wrong way to deal with any of this. When you’re ready, there is so much support out there but you don’t need to put a timescale on it. Talk about everything and share your emotions.

“When people ask ‘Are you ok?’ you want to scream at them ‘Of course I’m not. My heart is broken and my soul has died’. What you actually say is ‘I’m coping, just. Thanks for asking.’

“However, this is not all about the sadness and coping. It’s learning that because life goes on that you must as well. With support, with friends and with the right people to talk to there is a way back.

“You can let go of the sadness and your life will return. It will be different, but we can cope with different as long as there is hope and a plan.

“The book is written mainly in the form of diary dates over the first few months following Julie’s death when I wrote about all my emotions in a journal. Putting everything together in a book was an idea towards the end of 2019 when I had gone back to full-time work.

“I am also looking at friendship and getting back to ‘normal’ life. There are heart-warming tributes from Julie’s friends and colleagues plus six of her poems and her ‘inspiration and positive thinking’.

“I want this book to become Julie’s legacy because she was always ready to help others. I want Julie’s family and friends to keep alive all those happy memories.

“This book is dedicated to Julie and everyone who has shown support to me. You have kept me going through the darkest times. I can’t thank you enough.”

Julie was taken ill on April 9, 2019, when she was working as a communications officer at North Kesteven District Council in Lincolnshire.

She had three spells in Lincoln County Hospital to treat an infection and also went into Kettering General Hospital during a weekend back home with her parents in Wellingborough.

Julie’s condition was passed on to a specialist centre at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital where, in the middle of May last year, she was diagnosed with an appendix tumour.

Major surgery was called off the night before the operation date. Chemotherapy was then ruled out because the cancer cells had spread rapidly.

Julie was transferred to St Michael’s Hospice, Basingstoke, and she died the next day. Her funeral was held in Wellingborough in July.

Mark returned home to Sleaford and immediately began bereavement support sessions through St Barnabas Hospice. Since the autumn, he has also been having independent one-to-one counselling sessions.

At the start of the football season in August, he went back to full-time work as sports editor of the Lincolnshire Free Press and Spalding Guardian. He decided to leave in March to focus on publication of the book and a new career.

‘Letting Go And Living On’ has been produced by 3P Publishing of Corby. It costs £7.99 and is available now for pre-order from https://bookshop.3ppublishing.co.uk/letting-go-and-living-on-by-mark-lea