Watch what you say

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We all know we should be careful what we say around children, no matter how small they are.

However, we sometimes forget ourselves and waffle on regardless.

I’m not just talking about sweary kind of words either, just in general.

From a young age children copy what we say, indicating that it’s time we become slightly more selective about what we say when small ears are present.

It’s when they say things to get a laugh, or continually say them because they know it’ll get a laugh.

Perhaps it was accidental in the first instance?

Take Kitty for example; I was fathoming out which frozen veggies to buy during a weekly jaunt to the supermarket.

It’s usually the most public of places, isn’t it?

So, with my head in the freezer, I hear an angelic voice spout: “It’s me, Gary.”

Now, I did chuckle to myself and the sweetcorn, as this is a line from one of my favourite shows, but was quickly stifled when I realised it was my little girl.

She has never seen this programme before so must have picked up on ME saying it.

I say this phrase, as the character does in the show, occasionally when I answer my phone.

It’s nothing terrible, what she has said, but she knows of this quote and I say lots of silly things.

But crumbs, what else may she have heard me say?

She then proceeded to repeat this quite a few times during the rest of our shop, with me resulting in calling her Gary, much to my children’s amusement.

I totally forgot myself at the till and called out to “Gary” and Pup with the cashier trying to work out which of my two children (a pink and a blue) was called Gary.

I think nothing of it when I’m immersed in their world; it’s been my world too for five years.

I’ve put this down as a funny moment, and gladly so as it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Thankfully I’m not a swearer, unless I’ve had a wee dram and a few “crikeys” slip out.

Although this is done away from the children.

By this I don’t mean hidden out of their sight next to the fridge slurping wine, I just mean on the very rare occasion whence out with chums.

I am known for my adoration of a made-up or rearranged word.

Take exactly the same; I feel exame is a perfectly good substitute for those three words.

Try it, slip it in to conversation. It works well. *Takes a bow*.

It appears my children also follow my lead. We were checking the progress of our sunflowers when a bird lands in the garden.

Kitty piped up that it was an eagle, which she confuses with seagull (or eagle beginning with an “s” which is how she pronounces it).

I explain it’s not an eagle or a “sea gull” and that it’s a small garden bird whose name we could find out together, if she wanted.

She clearly doesn’t as, tucking her hair behind her ears and waltzing off, she confidently tells me it’s a pecker wrecker.

Totally genius – I’m not sure from what bird family this stems but there we had a pecker wrecker sat on the grass.

We’ve had numerous instances lately; exploration of language and made-up-ness, which has had me tickled.

I could be here all night but I won’t keep you much longer, I’ve too many things to move around the house in the vain hope it looks like I’ve actually done some chores today.

We were at a friend’s for tea and Pup is in the toilet.

He is taking his time as one does and suddenly shouts out, “Mum, I’m going to need your help with this one”.

Well, what can I do? Other than force a polite smile and walk calmly to the bathroom.

Upon my return I can safely say, my very good friend passed no judgement and joined me in a fit of hysterics.

No matter that we were sat eating, I am very thankful for her reaction.

The continual stream of randomness which springs from my dear children certainly keeps me entertained and feet planted firmly on the ground, even if at times you wish it would swallow you up!

Read more from Emma here.