So it’s almost Valentine ’s Day, which reminds me of some of the disasters I had when I was a teenager.
The first one I remember was at a party in the sixth form, when a young, geeky gentleman decided that now was a good time to present me with his gift.
He marched up to me in front of all my friends and gave me a huge box. I was intrigued, but when I opened it I was in for a shock.
Inside was a container filled with fancy napkins, plastic red roses, cut-out hearts and a plastic doll that resembled Hamble, the really scary doll from Play School.
I was mortified but my friends of course thought it was the most hilarious thing they’d ever seen.
The very next year was no better, when another geeky boy – let’s call him Bill – decided he was madly in love with me and not only wanted to give me a Valentine’s present, but wanted to do so right in the middle of the reception where I now worked.
I received a phone call from the amused receptionist, telling me I had a delivery, and when I went down, I was embarrassed to find a three-foot card, and a half-dozen satin cushions bearing the words ‘Bill Loves Michelle’ embroidered on to them.
Everyone was laughing and Bill, meanwhile, had made a hasty retreat from the building; leaving me to gather up my cushions and take them back to my office.
Cue more laughter from entertained co-workers as I stuffed them under my desk.
Several days ago I asked my daughter if she was planning on sending a Valentine’s Day card this year.
She screwed up her face and declared that she would never, under any circumstances, send a card to anyone in the whole of her life.
However, I’m sure she will rethink the situation when she hits her teens, and will become suitably embarrassed by many a determined young man, before she finally finds her Prince Charming.