So the cold chill of winter has descended on Northamptonshire and with it comes a fresh batch of lunatic drivers and potty pedestrians…
Firstly there’s Mrs Shiny Shoes.
She was spotted walking down a busy main road on a foggy, dark morning, wearing black and with no reflective gear whatsoever.
Granted there was no path for her to walk on, but there was a perfectly safe and large grass verge which would have worked just as well.
The only reason I can think of for her walking in the road was because she didn’t want to get her shoes wet.
If you’re reading this Mrs Shiny Shoes, please heed my advice – buy yourself a pair of wellies and walk on the grass. They may not look great, but neither does a dozen cars swerving across the road in order to miss you. Thanks!
Secondly there is Mr Frosty.
This lunatic obviously couldn’t be bothered getting out of bed five minutes earlier in order to scrape the ice off his car.
Instead he just rubbed off a tiny circle from the windscreen and – I kid you not – drove down the street with his head hanging out of the driver’s side window, desperately trying to see where he was going.
Message for you Mr Frosty – put some de-icer on your Christmas list this year, because driving in the winter is scary enough without you threatening to run riot on the highways just because you’re too darn lazy to scrape your car!
And finally we have Mr Ice Cream Man.
Despite it being minus four outside, he still thinks it’s a great idea to cool us down even more by selling 99s, screwballs and Cornettos as if it’s raving summer out there.
News for you Mr Ice Cream – unless you’re selling hot soup and water bottles, I have a feeling you won’t get much business.
Go home and put the kettle on, and maybe come back in July, when it’s just above freezing instead. Just a thought…