J-P Wooding: It’s Brighton or bust

J-P's wife's trip to Brighton was such a success last year, they've gone again this year...
J-P's wife's trip to Brighton was such a success last year, they've gone again this year...
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Last year my wife and her friend had a weekend break in Brighton.

I’m surprised they are going again this weekend considering their trip was like something from the movies.

Off they trundled in a trusty little Fiat with hopes of an easy weekend.

The first problem after an uneventful but long drive was that someone had neglected to pack the front door key; it was still hanging from the hook in the kitchen, about 150 miles away.

However, all was not lost. After contacting the owner of the house Thelma and Louise, sorry, the pair of them decided to immediately drive to London to collect a spare key.

Somewhat flustered, the driver gunned the Italian super-mini out of Brighton and towards their goal.

As they did so a speed camera took a liking to the green Fiat’s striking lines and took a picture, bathing the road in a burst of light for all to see how well that small engine could perform!

Leaving the sights of Brighton behind, the heavens opened in an effort to deter the gallant couple.

This was no problem of course as the wipers soon swatted aside the icy spears that blurred their vision.

That was until the passenger side wiper failed, leaving them burrowing into the city, half-blind and now with a sat-nav that was determined to take them through the centre of the capital.

Arriving at their destination they were given the spare key and a hot meal while a repair was made to the wiper mechanism using A-Team-like skills and some cable ties.

The hour was now late but this didn’t stop them and they set off once more to the south coast.

With their last vestiges of strength they made it to Brighton, put the parking permits in the car and went to bed, expecting the rest of the weekend to go smoothly.

The next day they went on to the pier and saw a man jump off apparently in an effort to commit suicide.

Unfortunately, despite the coastguard’s and other rescuers’ best efforts, the man didn’t survive.

Later that evening in a club my wife slipped and banged her head, bringing an end to the evening and a nasty lump; surely nothing else could happen?

As the ladies arose on the day they were to return they discovered the parking permits hadn’t been displayed correctly and consequently they had a parking fine to pay.

By the time you read this, the pair should have hopefully returned unscathed from this year’s trip, with no horror stories to tell.

Although they may be tempting fate as they are taking part in a ghost walk...

Read more from J-P here.