Helen Bach: Never too old to put on a bikini

Dame Helen Mirren: Not too old to wear a bikini
Dame Helen Mirren: Not too old to wear a bikini

I’m a great believer in that you’re only as old as you feel.

Hence why I’m not a big fan of people telling me I’m too old to do something.

I read about a survey of 1,000 Britons where they discussed the “cut off” dates for certain things, after which time it apparently becomes cringeworthy to do them. I’ll share some of the findings.

They reported that the age limit for listening to Radio 1 was 29.

I can relate to this, as I think you get to an age when you outgrow it and switch to Radio 2 or your local station, but I will admit to sometimes listening to the charts on a Sunday afternoon.

It also stated that if you’re getting a tattoo, get it done before you’re 32, and don’t wear a baseball cap after this age either. Don’t wear one back to front once you’re 25.

Don’t end emails or texts to strangers with a kiss or use abbreviations like LOL after you’re 29-years-old – especially if you don’t know what they mean (giving the example of David Cameron, who thought LOL meant “lots of love”.

Men apparently shouldn’t grow goatee beards once they’re 32, nobody should wear very high heels after 34 or kiss in the street once you’re 25.

The poll also said you couldn’t wear a bikini once you’re 48. This particularly annoyed me – Helen Mirren looked fab in hers at 63, Elizabeth Hurley is 49 and Elle Macpherson is 50, so that’s obviously nonsense.

Also controversially was not going to music festivals once you’re 41. Well, Dolly Parton’s 68 and she rocked Glastonbury this year wearing very high heels, breaking at least two of these rules – she was fabulous.

So I’m going to follow her lead and attend Gretton Music Festival on the August Bank Holiday weekend, possibly wearing a baseball cap, and high heels if I want to –but not a bikini!

I’m just hoping Jive Honey play their version of Nine to Five so I can sing along...

Read more from Helen here.