Gregg Nunney: Why does it always rain on me?

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It was a Victor Meldrew of a week last week.

After days of the hottest summer in recent years, after sweltering heat and can’t-get-to-sleep-at-night mugginess we finally got the chance to enjoy a couple of days off work.

We got in the car and headed to the finest of all places – the zoo.

I love the zoo. I love seeing creatures that are all shapes and sizes but still display characteristics that are strangely human.

The zoo is where I enjoyed some of my happiest childhood memories and some pretty good adult ones too. The zoo during a hot summer.

What could be better?

Victor Meldew moment – I don’t believe it! Within an hour of being there the heavens opened and it started to rain.

The orang-utans ran for cover, the tigers found a hollowed out tree. Even the penguins put on their pac-a-macs and looked to the sky.

What were the odds? The rain finally cleared and we sat down to enjoy a hot dog and a pint, only for another downpour to turn our lunch into a washout. You couldn’t make it up.

After two days of staring out of a hotel window at the rain it was time to go home.

Victor Meldew moment – I don’t believe it! After five minutes on the motorway there was total gridlock, then the sun came out and then, after two days of solid rain, I ended up with a sunburned right arm from where we were stuck on the road.

Luckily the good weather remained – perfect because within a couple of days of coming home it was our beautiful niece’s first birthday barbecue.

Victor Meldrew moment – I don’t believe it! The second the barbecue was lit the rain returned! More soggy sausages and a drip down the back of my neck from the parasol.

That, coupled with a smell the council insisted was down to ‘farming’, has led me to believe that the only way to enjoy a few days off is to stay in bed!