Northants Lockdown Legends: Kettering Hospital staff hosted wedding blessing at grandfather’s bedside before he passed away

Staff at Kettering General Hospital (KGH) have been nominated to be our fourth ‘Northants Lockdown Legends’ story after hosting a wedding blessing at the bedside of a 82-year-old grandfather.

Gordon Borrett, from Thrapston, was receiving end of life care in the Lamport Ward at KGH in November last year.

His granddaughter, Claire Donlevy and her now husband, Mark, were initially supposed to have been married on June 13 2020 but the coronavirus pandemic forced them to make the tough decision to postpone to December 5.

Gordon had been in and out of hospital from July last year but, when he was admitted into KGH again in September, Claire knew “things felt different this time.”

It was arranged for Gordon to come home to see out his final days with his wife, Valerie, in early November after he spent weeks in hospital. However, when Monday November 9 arrived, the family received a phone call from the hospital to say that Gordon was not well enough to make the journey and they were now allowed to visit him.

Claire said: “We’d gone from happiness that he was coming home and we’d all be able to see him to the shock of knowing the end was nearer.

“I struggled with this because, at this point, our wedding was only a matter of weeks away. I’d accepted that he wouldn’t physically be at our wedding but that he’d be able to watch via video link or we’d be able to go see him afterwards in my dress but this was fast disappearing from us.”

Two nurses from the palliative care team at KGH came to check on Gordon the following day on Tuesday, November 10. Claire, at the time, spoke of her regret that her grandfather would not be able to see her get married.

Claire said: “One of the ladies asked if there was anything else they could do. I made an off-the-cuff comment about ‘you don’t do weddings, do you?’ She asked why and I explained that we were hoping to be married in three weeks, depending on lockdown and I was finding it hard to accept that grandad wouldn’t be there now.

“She simply said, ‘leave it with me’.”

Claire, within two hours, had met with the Chaplain, Reverend Neil Tyrer, and a marriage blessing was arranged to take place at Gordon’s bedside that same afternoon.

Lamport ward assistant Nurse Practitioner, James Martin, along with palliative care nurses - Julie Hones and Amelia Lapsley - had discussed the idea with Reverend Tyrer.

James said: “When situations like this arise, we always do our best to enable end of life visiting and, in this case, we were able to go further and arrange a wedding blessing in Gordon’s side room on the ward. It was great to see how working closely as a team we were able to make it happen at a most difficult time.”

Amelia added: “It was an emotional day and we were pleased to be able to play a small part in helping Claire and her family to enable Gordon to see that she was getting married.

“We feel we did something valuable, in very sad circumstances, to support the family which is something the Palliative Care Team always try to do.”

Gordon’s family felt incredibly “lucky” to not only have had the blessing but also that they were able to spend time with him in his final days.

Claire, reflecting on the bedside blessing, said: “I became upset when repeating my vows and grandad reached across for my hand. I have no doubt that he knew what was happening.”

Reverend Tyrer said that it was a “privilege” to be able to help Claire and Mark. He said: “In amongst all the sadness, uncertainty, and pain, of the past ten months to be able to share in a moment of profound kindness, love, and care, is a reminder to us all never to give up. Faith, hope and love overcomes all things.

“Three generations were so incredibly brave - especially the bride - in wanting her grandfather present on her big day. It was an honour to be able to offer prayers and a blessing at the bedside and to care for Gordon and his family at a most difficult time.

“The ward staff were amazing and along with the Palliative Care Team it was testimony to what we do best here - caring for the body, mind and soul of everyone who comes into the hospital.”

Palliative care nurse, Julie Hones, talked of how “humbled” the team at KGH are to have been nominated by Claire to be ‘Northants Lockdown Legends’. She said: “We try to do what we can to organise things like this because we know it can mean the world to patients and their families.

“It is not just our team. I see so many examples of staff from the Trust going the extra mile in so many ways to help make life bearable for families in the midst of this terrible pandemic.”

Gordon passed away four days after the blessing took place. He had been married to his wife, Valerie, for 58 years when he passed away. Claire and her family emphasised how grateful they were to have been able to spend time with him in his final days.

Claire, in her ‘Northants Lockdown Legend’ nomination, said: “I will never forget what they did for us that day and I cannot thank them enough. Grandad passed away four days later on Saturday 14th November, three weeks exactly before our wedding day.

“However, what they did for us made the wedding day without him so much easier as he will always be a part of our wedding story.”

Our ‘Northants Lockdown Legend’ campaign was started to give recognition to those who have gone above and beyond in their community to help others throughout the pandemic. If you want to nominate an individual or group, email [email protected] .

You can read about our last 'Northants Lockdown Legend' here.