It’s that time of the year again, where we take a look at the unwanted Christmas gifts currently being sold on the internet.
First of all there are the ones we see every year: unwanted gifts from ‘psycho ex-boyfriend,’ still wrapped and the seller has no idea what’s inside.
They do, however, provide a clue when they say that last year he shopped only in the Apple store and Tiffany. Roughly translated I take that to mean he shopped at the local corner store and Poundland, but call me a cynic.
Next we have a Union Jack tax disc holder, a windscreen cover, his ‘n’ hers hot water bottles, a pink wig, TV licence and a pair of flip flops.
Someone is even selling a cuddly Eeyore toy wearing a cute dressing gown.
Shame on them.
But the best listings this year come from a series of jokers who have popped up to cheer our post-Christmas days.
First we have someone selling a half-eaten box of chocolates. “Please note,” the listing says, “that if we finish the box then we’ll have to end the auction early.”
Then we have an old mushroom that was found behind the freezer and which the seller claims to look like a brain.
“Warning,” it says, “this mushroom is not suitable for eating or brain transplants.”
And finally we have my personal favourite: Mother-in-law complete with doilies; collection only and may exchange for a Dyson cleaner and a tin of Mr Sheen.
“We have the right to turn down unsuitable families,” the advert says.
There then follows a photo of the said mother-in-law, smiling happily and clutching a feather duster which the seller says is definitely not for sale.
So if you fancy a brain-shaped mushroom or even a new mother-in-law, pop online today.
But hurry as, in spite of the crazy listings, every one of the items has more than a few bids already. Happy New Year everyone, and happy bidding!