Right, I need to talk to you about something important.
Something fundamental – indeed, a recent commentator said it was an essential element for a civilized society.
What is this vital topic, you may well ask? Loos.
Lavatories, WCs, restrooms (if you’re in the USA), dunnies (in Australia), bathrooms, even toilets if you prefer.
Did you see the story about the lady who locked herself in a public loo for three days as a protest about its proposed closure?
While I wouldn’t quite go that far, I do believe that public loos are essential and much needed – especially when you’ve got young children who can’t hang on until you get home!
But can I also just say they need regular monitoring, cleaning and maintenance?
Is there anything worse than finding yourself ‘in situ’ only to discover that there’s no loo roll?
I’m sure it’s not just me who first checks to see if there’s paper before committing to a cubicle.
But sometimes there’s a massive queue in the Ladies’ loo, so you don’t have a choice in cubicle selection.
This is where a packet of tissues – an essential component of my handbag – comes into its own.
Just remember not to pack the balsam ones for this purpose, though.
Don’t get me started about where you’re supposed to put your handbag while on the loo.
If you hang it on the hook on the back of the door you risk somebody trying to swipe it, ditto if you leave it on the floor by the door.
Yet hanging it around your neck is a potential health and safety hazard, particularly given the size and weight of most bags these days.
In conclusion, councils, caretakers of public conveniences, and any tourist destinations catering for large numbers of people, please make sure there’s always loo paper and soap – the people of Britain are counting on you when they need to ‘spend a penny’!
Read more from Helen here.