Helen Bach

John Travolta isn't Helen's idea of a fashion icon
John Travolta isn't Helen's idea of a fashion icon
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Not such a dedicated follower of fashion...

I always read the fashion section of the Sunday paper’s magazine with a mixture of amusement and horror.

I’m sure I can’t be the only person who looks at the clothes featured and says ‘how much?’ and ‘I couldn’t possibly wear that on the school run!’

Now, I know the magazines aren’t targeting women such as myself when they do these fashion shoots – otherwise they’d use models who ate healthy meals or were old enough to vote – but even so, really?

Seriously, at whom are these adverts actually aimed?

The magazine I read this week told me top-to-toe white clothing was the big news for summer 2013.

Yeah, right. Maybe if I lived in Miami and had a tan, but glorious Northamptonshire in the rain – I don’t think so!

How long would something like that stay the colour it was intended?

Not in my household anyway – I have a black Labrador who likes to brush against my clothing at every opportunity!

I’m sure most parents will tell you that wearing white is a no-no.

Small children with chocolatey faces and fingers are like a magnet for light-coloured clothing.

No amount of Vanish is ever going to get that out.

So, if it’s all the same, I shall stick to what suits my age, shape and lifestyle and the fashionistas will have to keep their immaculate white suits to themselves.

Plus I have no desire to look like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, thank you very much!