Alec Swann - We’re not stupid Yaya

Northamptonshire Telegraph's sports writers Jon Dunham, Jim Lyon and Alec Swann.
Northamptonshire Telegraph's sports writers Jon Dunham, Jim Lyon and Alec Swann.
0
Have your say

What’s the best way to ask for a pay rise?

A letter to your boss? A conversation? A meeting with HR? Mentioning an offer for your services from elsewhere?

All of the above may be considered a sensible way to go about improving a remuneration package but they would be made to look decidedly amateurish by Yaya Toure’s efforts.

There’s going about something in a roundabout way and there’s going about something in a roundabout way but his ‘I didn’t get a birthday cake’ petulance must be close to the most pathetic attempt to get a pay rise for quite a while.

His agent - why is there always the grubby presence of a dollar chaser in these instances? - denied this was the reason behind his client’s ludicrous whining but we weren’t all born yesterday.

Wayne Rooney accusing Manchester United of lacking ambition had more credibility than Toure’s reasoning.

Footballers, rightly or wrongly, haven’t got the best of reputations when it comes to the possession of grey matter, but it’s difficult quite how to quantify Toure’s moan.

Is he really so sensitive that the absence of a Victoria sponge could cause job insecurity?

Does no birthday card with a witty message equal tears of frustration?

Can a lack of acknowledgement from your employers that Father Time stops for no man be such a heinous slight?

No. no and no again.

A marvellous footballer but evidently a very greedy one.

Surprise, surprise.